Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Constant Christmas - 🎄

Alright, let's get this over.
The gravy thickens...

We now know that Christmas was behind Black Friday's incursion into November as a ploy to marginalize Turkey Day. Americans are beginning to see Thanksgiving as irrelevant - just a speed bump on the highway to a Holly Jolly Christmas.

If Christmas can squash Thanksgiving, it will certainly set its sights on Halloween as part of its quest for total calendar domination.

Monday, November 23, 2020

Holidays in Hell - 🎄

Talk about awkward...
How about a big hug?

If you are in Heaven, and some of your loved ones are in Hell, what about the holidays? 

You can't invite your condemned relatives to Heaven for Thanksgiving. And they certainly aren't coming up for Christmas. Or Easter. 

No, the get-together will have to be at their place. You'll need to get a one-day pass to Hell. And that could be kind of scary if your admission to Heaven was iffy to begin with.

Friday, November 20, 2020

Eye-popping - 📌

Field report...

My friend posted her photos of the Grand Canyon. I thought the first photo was eye-popping. The second photo was clearly eye-popping. The third one seemed more jaw-dropping than eye-popping.

The next few were eye-popping. Then another jaw-dropping one. Then, oh wow! The sunset photo was more than jaw-dropping. In fact, I'd call it breath-taking. No! it was mind-blowing!


Brian - This is a dumb post. So dumb that it's eye-rolling. A dumb, eye-rolling post. And not the least bit funny. Definately not knee-slapping?

  Oscar - I agree with Brian. Anyone can come up with hyphenated adjectives, to wit: I streamed two movies. One was heart-rending, and the other was nail-biting.

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Litter Logic - 📌

On the level...

We're dropping my father-in-law at the airport. He's getting his bag from the trunk when he sees a folded paper on the ground. Did he drop it? Could it be his tickets?

He picks up the paper and unfolds it. It's just some discarded pamphlet. He drops it back to the pavement.

Dad doesn't think of this as littering because the pamphlet had already been dropped by someone else. It was pre-littered. So Dad thinks it's perfectly alright to drop the paper - as if he had never picked it up.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Caller IQ - 📌

A puzzlement...

I got a new smart phone that has Caller IQ. It shows me who is calling and how intelligent they are. I adjusted the level to screen out people who aren't very bright and it was working great. Until yesterday.

That's when I misplaced my smart phone in the house. I searched everywhere and finally tried using the land line to call the damn thing. But I couldn't get through. My own smart phone had blocked me.

Friday, November 13, 2020

Near Death Experience - ⛪

A close call...

Mike was on the operating table when his heart stopped beating and he was officially pronounced dead. Suddenly, his heart restarted and he came back to life. Mike reported seeing a long tunnel, a bright light, and some angels. 

Friends said the miracle was part of God's plan and Mike must have some unfulfilled purpose here on Earth. 

Since then, Mike actively avoids fulfilling that purpose, whatever it might be. He just hangs around the house, and does nothing all day. Because any random accomplishment, even an accidental good deed, could be fatal, and Mike isn't taking any chances.