Monday, April 6, 2020

Evolution is a Baloney - ⛪

Truth be told...

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center provides absolute proof that the whole idea of human evolution is pure baloney. 

The report shows 83% of humans in the U.S. believe in God. 

Clearly, our species is not evolving.

Friday, April 3, 2020

Missionary Undoing - ⛪

Field Report...

Floyd Frock has spent decades in Africa, following behind missionaries as they go from village to village, quietly undoing their work.

"It really isn't that difficult to restore a tribe's original beliefs," said Frock, "I ask them to tell me something about the white man's religion. Then I ask, Kwa nini mungu kufanya hivyo? which means, Why would God do that?"

Frock continued: "While the natives are scratching their heads, I hand a rattle to their former Shaman and he takes if from there. Somebody gets out a drum and everyone happily goes back to their traditional ways."

"But not so far back as cannibalism," cautioned Frock, "I tell them, if they must cook people, maybe just enjoy the broth.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Paradise Past - ⛪

A True Myth...

For a thousand years the Islanders sought to increase their fertility rates. In that effort, they carved Tiki God figures that featured prominent peckers. Then the Missionaries came and sawed off all the peckers.

But, some far-sighted Islanders secretly collected the dismembered members from a hundred islands and took them by outrigger canoes to one secluded island they named Isle of Lost Peckers, and threw them into Moa Moa, a great volcano.

The Islanders believed that one happy day Moa Moa would blow his top and all of the peckers would magically fly back to their original Tiki Gods. Which is not any more far-fetched than some of the tales told by the Missionaries.

Monday, March 30, 2020

Near Death Experience - ⛪

A close call...

Mike was on the operating table when his heart stopped beating and he was officially pronounced dead. Suddenly, his heart restarted and he came back to life. Mike reported seeing a long tunnel, a bright light, and some angels. 

Friends said the miracle was part of God's plan and Mike must have some unfulfilled purpose here on Earth. 

Since then, Mike actively avoids fulfilling that purpose, whatever it might be. He just hangs around the house, and does nothing all day. Because any random accomplishment, even an accidental good deed, could be fatal, and Mike isn't taking any chances.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Evidence of God - ⛪

Clear as day...

Simply look at our ears for evidence of God's handiwork. The Lord knew that one day man would invent eyeglasses. Notice how He placed our ears perfectly to hold our eyeglasses. That's the kind of detail that can only be explained by Intelligent Design. And that could only be God.

Comments -

Frank E.  -  I just noticed that the space between my big toe and the next toe is bigger than the spaces between my other toes. OMG! That's just right for wearing flip-flops.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Pine Cones - 📌

Sponsored Health tip...

Get more fiber in your diet by eating a pine cone every day. Simply use a coffee-bean grinder to produce two ounces of pulverized roughage. Try stirring the grounds into Ed's Happy Camper Oatmeal.™

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