Wednesday, November 27, 2019

War on Thanksgiving -

Yule tidal wave...

As Christmas invaded November, Thanksgiving applied for an emergency transfer to August, a move that would require approval by two-thirds of the major holidays.  

However, Halloween objected, saying such a retreat would only hasten Yuletide Expansionism and the other holidays would quickly fall like dominos. 

That alarmed Labor Day who joined Independence Day in calling for an immediate vote. Thanksgiving's request for a transfer was defeated seven to four with Hanukah abstaining. 

Breaking News -

Major holidays were stunned today as Christmas gobbled up Thanksgiving, Halloween, and most of Labor Day. 

Easter quickly offered refuge to Saint Patrick's Day. However, Groundhog Day denied Cinco de Mayo's pleas to take sanctuary in February. 

Observers say Christmas is now poised to go year-round.