Wednesday, October 4, 2017

GATE Notification - A Murky Memo

Letter from school...

Dear Certain Parents,

As a result of recent test scores, and other factors that are too confusing to explain, your child has apparently qualified for Gifted And Talented Education, or GATE.

Now, before you get too excited, please try to remember that all children are smart in their own ways. GATE is just another way of being smart. Smart is a relative term.

For example, we have some extra smart students (not yours) who qualify for Brilliant And Spectacular Education. And a few children (also, not yours) score high enough to reach Ingenious And Amazing Education. And there is an even higher level of smartness that we can't tell you about.

So, just be cool and know that your child, like most children these days, is pretty smart, considering. Next week the teachers will give all the qualified students some extra homework or something.


Dr. F. Fadder, Phd, Psychologist

Sprawling School District