Friday, May 11, 2018

Cremating Bodies - Papal Surprise #2

From the Pope...*

His Holiness recently confirmed that cremation of your loved ones is okay, however, it is not okay to keep the ashes home, divide them up among friends and relatives, or scatter them around.

The pope's instructions are a bit amusing to Mrs. John P. Davis, a life-long Catholic who put her dead husband's ashes in the cat's litter box.

"John hated my cat and he wasn't shy about saying so," said Davis, "so after the funeral I dumped his ashes in with the little kitty turds. Oops, guess I'm in trouble with the Holy Father again."

The Pontiff explained that burial of an intact corpse is still preferred, adding that cremation diminishes the impact of burning in Hell, which had been the official penalty for cremating any body since Pope Leo II so declared back in the Fourth Century.

*Based on a recent declaration made by the actual Pope.

Next Friday: Papal Surprise #3