Friday, May 14, 2021

Dopey Saying #4 - If you believe it...

Have you heard this one?

If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Try telling that to the supremely confident Morgan D. Stroud. As he worked his way up the ladder, Stroud believed he would ultimately become CEO of Watson Enterprises. 

More to the point, Stroud really, really, really, really, really believed it. He just knew his rise to the top was in the bag; a done deal; a fait accompli. Becoming CEO was his destiny and  Stroud held that deep conviction until finally he was next in line.

But the board gave the position to Skippy Watson, the company founder's incompentent nephew. And what happened to Mr. Stroud? He was canned for parking his car in the spot marked for the CEO. 

Comment -

Linda - At least Mr. Luffner gave it a try. After all, you only regret the things you didn't do.
Monday:  Dopey Saying #4 "You only regret the things you didn't do"

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Dopey Saying #3 God won't give you...

God won't give you more than you can handle.
Well, somebody gave Martin Frummer more than he could handle. The poor guy suffered one horrible calamity after another until he went totally insane. And if it wasn't God who handed out the misery, I don't know who else it could have been. 

Maybe this expression means God will keep piling on the troubles right up to your breaking point and then back off just a little bit. But it looks like even The Almighty can overestimate one's emotinal endurance. Isn't that right, Martin? Martin?

Comment -
Anita - Hang in there, Martin. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. As they say: If you believe it, you can achieve it.

Friday - Dopey Saying #4 - "If you believe it, you can achieve it."

Monday, May 10, 2021

Dopey Saying #2 - Everything happens...

Have you heard this one?

Everything happens for a reason.

Fred Foster was walking past a construction site when a thousand-pounds of gravel fell right on on him.

Fred underwent seven surgeries. He had five organ transplants. He was in a coma for twenty-three weeks. At times like these, it's comforting to know that everything happens for a reason.

You see, Fred had been rushing through life without pausing to appreciate the little things. But on that fateful Tuesday, right there at Broadway and Forth, Thud! Fred got a half-ton wake-up call. And the reason?

Some people say it was the Universe telling Fred to slow down and enjoy life. And Fred would tell you he got the message loud and clear. Because, with his transplanted baboon colon, a bowel movement takes Fred over three hours.

Comment -

Cindy - Don't worry, Fred. God won't give you more than you can handle.

Wednesday: Dopey Saying #3 "God won't give you more than you can handle"

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Mother's Day - EXTRA

On the level...

Mother's Day is celebrated in Madrid with the Running of the Mothers whereby young boys are pursued down narrow streets by angry moms with switches.

Any niƱo who is caught gets a whipping as punishment for his bad behavior. Historians say inspiration for the tradition comes from the holy mother of Jesus who reportedly chased after her son for making up wild stories.

Friday, May 7, 2021

Dopey Saying #1 - Whatever doesn't kill you...

Have you heard this one?
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

That's just what Frank Fender's friends told him after he was hit by a crosstown bus. 

A year later Frank is still drooling into a bib, peeing through a tube, and waiting for somebody to feed him strained bananas. 

The man is neither dead, nor stronger. And every time Frank hears that dopey saying: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," he wants to scream.

Comment -

Trevor - Just remember, Frank: Everything happens for a reason. 

 Monday: Dopey Saying #2 "Everything happens for a reason."

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Good Choice -

Dining out...
When I told our waiter that I’d have the salmon he said “Good choice” in a way that made me feel proud of my menu-selecting skill. Because he said “Good choice” with a tone of admiration that must have impressed my tablemates. Privately, however, I breathed a sigh of relief because I had almost ordered the sea bass, which might have also been a good choice, but who knows? Maybe the sea bass is just okay. Then someone else would get “Good choice” for the salmon and I’d’ve gotten “Okaaaay” for the sea bass.