Friday, August 17, 2018

Brain Surgery -

The inside story...

Melvin Fobert stepped out of a helicopter and stood up under the aircraft's spinning blades. Two inches were sliced off the top of the man's head, clean as a whistle. 

Surgeons at Murky Memorial replaced nearly a pound of Fobert's lost brain matter with Memory Foam™ and stitched him up. Since then Fobert's ability to recall information has been remarkable.

"It's a huge improvement," says Fobert, "I can't remember the last time I forgot something."

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Not that it matters -

I carried my tray from the buffet to a small table and sat down by a friendly-looking couple. 

We made small talk as strangers will do. The man said, "Our son a professor and he lives in..."

His wife interjected, “Actually, he's an assistant professor.”

Without pause the man said, Actually, he's an associate professor,” and he continued to tell me about their son.

It was a rare moment. I had just witnessed a perfectly-executed Double Spousal Correction.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Grave Concern -

At the cemetery...

Every Sunday after her husband's death Margaret visited his grave, but somehow, she never got the hoped-for sense of spiritual connectedness. In fact, hardly any feelings emerged as Margaret placed some flowers and spoke softly of love and remembrance.

Until last November. That's when Margaret was mysteriously drawn to another grave, not far away. There the missing emotions flooded her heart. Margaret was also puzzled. She stared at the headstone. The name was not her husband's, however, the date of passing was the same. She gasped... Had the mortuary made a mistake? Had her husband and another man been... switched at death?

Friday, August 10, 2018

That's our show -

From the studio...

Our show is produced by Hunky Dory with programming assistance from Peachy Keen.

Upsie Daisy is our recording engineer, and our editor is Okee Dokee.

The band leader is Wishy Washy with Ringa Ding on the keyboard, and Catty Wumpus on drums.

Our staff writers are Handy Dandy and Lickety Split.

Special thanks to Topsy Turvey and Willie Nillie for technical assistance.

Our show was brought to you this week by Easy Peasy.

I'm your announcer, Diddly Squat: Thanks for tuning in.

This has been a Slippery Slope presentation.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Wrong Flashback -

A disturbing story...

Barney froze as the grizzly charged right at him. The snarling beast towered above the hapless hunter who now faced certain death.

It was just then that Barney realized how sadly unremarkable his existence had been up to this point.

Because somebody else's life flashed before his eyes.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Freedom to Text -

In the news...

Texting while driving a car is a form of free speech and therefore protected by the First Amendment of the U. S. Constitution.

That's the theory behind the "Freedom to Text" campaign to overturn California's new law against sending text messages while operating a motor vehicle.

"This is the kind of big government over-regulation that is killing our democracy," says citizen advocate, Leo Foister.

Foister warned a slippery slope of regulations that are threatening our rights and destroying our economy. "They won't rest until they confiscate every one of our smart phones," he declared.

Californians who are fed up with government over-reach may send tax-free donations to: Leonard Foister, California Funeral Directors Lobby, Sacramento, CA